Thankfully, I am feeling better today. I started my ‘lady week’ this morning, which definitely explains some of my crazy anger last night. But I am so glad that I let myself feel the anger, because if I squashed it down like I have before it would just get stronger. I’m even more glad that I wrote down how I’m feeling because it helped me to rationalise my feelings and get feedback from the wonderful community here who can relate. Thank you all so much. 🙂
I’ve been thinking about alcohol and exercise, and how for the past few years they’ve both been fighting for a place in my life. In my case, it’s very difficult for me to have both, unfortunately, because I find that exercise and alcohol don’t mix. Namely because once I binge, my mood is so low that I can’t find it in myself to get motivated to exercise (though it would ironically be the best thing I could do for myself when I’m down). And, as an avid (but somewhat inconsistent) runner, this is one of the many reasons for my wanting to quit drinking.
So, I’ve started exercising properly again in an effort to have something else to focus on. Last week, I allowed myself to eat what I wanted, to pig out on the couch and basically do nothing unless I really wanted to do it. Since Monday (you HAVE to start a routine on a Monday, right?) I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat well and exercise. It’s definitely helping. I’ve signed up for a few 10km races in the coming months, and my aim is to beat my times from last year (I quit drinking for a few months last year and in that time was very fit – and eventually thought I had been ‘cured’, sigh). So hopefully challenging myself to improve will give me a focus, and more reasons not to drink. Plus the endorphin boost after I go to the gym makes me feel goooooood 🙂 perhaps – dare I say – as good as the first (note: only the first, after that it all goes to shit) glass of wine.
Anyway, I’m rambling again as usual, so I’m off to the gym now! I’m gonna run my legs, and the remaining anger from last night, off.
PS. ‘Lady week’? I’m turning into my mother.