1 week on… Life since my hiccup

It’s 8:35 am. I am lying in bed surrounded by chocolate wrappers. Sigh. At least I am not hungover!

So it’s been one week since I decided to drink. I haven’t drank since. Despite having a relatively small amount to drink (in comparison to what I used to drink and what everyone else had had to drink) I actually suffered quite a bit last Saturday. I would never ever have suffered before from that volume of alcohol. Or maybe I did and was too used to it to notice. 

Anyhow, all day Saturday I had a headache, an upset tummy and a general fogginess about me. It all set in shortly after my last blog post. If I hadn’t thought it was worth it before, then I definitely didn’t then. I wondered so many times how I did this to my body every weekend without fail. My body even seemed to hurt. I felt very sorry for myself. I reminded myself that it was all my own doing. And then I felt very thankful. I realised that this was my body’s way of begging me not to drink anymore. 

After a day or two of feeling guilty, I allowed myself to stop thinking about it. I had my last week of work with my current team this week. Next week I start working on an off-site project and will return to work with my current team in a few months. Since my colleagues are the only group that I find difficult to not drink around (due to peer pressure) I am going to take the opportunity to come back with a condition that will not allow me to drink. 

My colleagues arranged ‘one big last night out’ as a goodbye on Thursday night. I desperately wanted to go and not drink. After all, the night was in my honour and I am a very social person – I love going out. But I absolutely did not want to drink. So I came up with a plan!

I am not advocating this kind of behavior by the way. But it got me through what was a difficult situation for me. So the night started off in one of my colleagues houses; she was going to throw a little party and then we would move on to the pub/club later. It was byob. So I brought a bottle of wine…filled with a non alcoholic grape juice.

It worked a treat. I drank the whole ‘bottle of wine’ in the house, and when we got to the pub I claimed that I had had too much at the house and didn’t need any more. I drank pints of water and danced and chatted with all my colleagues. We stayed at the pub (well its more like a disco bar) until 2:30am. By that time most people were hammered. Some were going on to a nightclub. I agreed to go – it was my last night and I was having a great sober time so why not?? We had a great time and I continued to drink water and stayed out until the club closed at 4am. I had to bring my friend home and put her to bed because she couldn’t even walk she was so drunk. I went to sleep about 6am, so grateful to have been sober, and I had such a good time. Then I got up at 8am for my last day with the old crew. Everyone was astounded by how ‘fresh’ I looked, and I giggled to myself in my head about my private little secret. I am awake now after sleeping for about 17 hours (seriously). But it was worth it 🙂

I was out on Wednesday night too with friends who don’t even notice, never mind care if I drink or not. It was a blast and I was delighted to wake up with a clear head. So maybe the two nights out on a week night caused me to sleep for so long. Either way my body definitely needed it.

Finally, I just wanted to say that not every moment of Thursday night was easy. Right as I was about to pour the real wine out of the bottle so I could wash it and use it for my fake wine I thought to myself about how nice it would be to join in the fun and drink with my colleagues and feel connected to them. And then I thought about how I felt when I drank last Friday and how adamant I was that it wasn’t worth it and the urge to say ‘fuck it’ went away. Drunken conversations and interactions aren’t real anyway. It’s never me talking, always the drink. And I prefer to live my life as myself and not behind the veil of alcohol.

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7 thoughts on “1 week on… Life since my hiccup

  1. Congratulations!! Sounds like you are well on your way. I suspect it will be very helpful as you note to be out of the peer pressure situation for a few months.

    I find that the power of reading what I have written in the past is very therapeutic and insightful. Your blog posts about how much you can enjoy life without alcohol compared to the misery of the next day hangover and other effects seem to provide that kind of thinking.

    Best wishes in your new position.

    • Hi Robert,

      Thanks so much for commenting!!! I really do enjoy lire without alcohol, and now that I am out of the situation where I feel pressured m’y life will be much easier 🙂 hope you are well 🙂

  2. Hi Maggie!!! Hope you are well 🙂 you’re right, as long as it works there is no need to feel bad about it! I always feel guilty if I ever tell a lie, but I think I will let myself off this time! Its for everyone’s good, not just for me! I am better sober 🙂 sending you good vibes!!! 🙂

  3. soberscott says:

    Well done you! Great idea. Don’t be shy about telling people that you’re off the booze. I told all my colleagues and friends and asked for their support which they continue to give. Having more people know also strengthens your desire to stick to your guns and stay off the sauce! Keep it up!

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