Last night I was out in a bar again. I found it pretty difficult at times. Basically ALL the socialising that my friends do is in bars. There isn’t much to do in the village I live in. A small, 5 screen cinema, a handful of nice restaurants, yet more pubs than there are people. (Okay maybe not more than there are people; I like to exaggerate to make a point sometimes, could you tell?) And somehow these pubs are almost always packed with people! How is this???
Anyhow, last week or the week before it occurred to me that I have two options:
a) hide away in my house, avoiding situations where alcohol might be involved. Which basically means lock myself in my bedroom because my family often enjoy a few drinks after dinner.
b) toughen up, put on my big girls pants, get all dressed up (my favourite part of going out – even when I was drinking) and join in the fun (well, apart from the drinking part).
Since last Saturday I’ve been in bars/pubs/nightclubs 4 times. 4 TIMES in 7 days. No wonder I’ve been wavering. That is a lot of mental wrestling. By the end of last night I was kind of fed up, but when I got home I was happy with myself. I’m not gonna lie though, the temptation to just say “screw it” was most definitely there. I’m way happier than I was this time last month but life does not always involve me floating around on a bed of daisies – I love daisies. Sometimes I just feel IRRITATED. And sometimes I find it hard to conceal. It never crosses my mind to actually drink, and I don’t really wanna. It just annoys me to no end that I can’t.
I suppose the most important thing is is that I am doing well. I want to be out socialising. I want to meet new people and have great conversation and spend time getting to know people in a way that I couldn’t (and didn’t bother to) with wine/beer coursing through my veins.
Eventually I will get used to this going out sober craic. I suppose I kind of already am.
The fact of the matter is, I never regret going out and I never regret not drinking.
So I must be doing something right. Happy Easter Sunday to all!