I’m a great mood this morning 🙂
Today marks day 26 for me. I’ve just checked!
It’s probably a good thing that I am not paying much attention to the days anymore; I’m becoming more comfortable now. In fact, tonight I am going out ‘properly’ for the first time since I’ve stopped drinking. Properly meaning probably to a nightclub. Eek.
I’m actually quite excited about it! I love getting dressed up and dancing. I love being sociable and going out. I’m not going to hide away just because I don’t want to drink alcohol anymore. I don’t think it’s healthy to avoid everything, and I just have to trust that my heart and head will do what’s right for me.
I’ve not told my friends that I’m going out with that I’ve stopped drinking. It won’t bother them – it never did before anyhow. I’ve begun to realise that I think some people are triggers when it comes to drinking. When I’m with certain people I tend to drink more than I would with others. Not because my relationship with them is bad or they stress me out and I feel like I need to drink around them. In fact, it’s usually the people that I love the most that I drink the most around, because I’m more at ease and I don’t feel the need to worry about my consumption. Or maybe it’s just that they’re heavy drinkers too. But these people, who I love, and who I drink more with than I might otherwise don’t trigger me to drink in the first place. It’s just when I do drink with them, my head is usually a bit more sore in the morning! Does any of what I just said made sense? I’m just throwing all my thoughts down as they come.
So anyway, I’m going out tonight. I’m gonna drink lemonades. And it’s going to be fucking great. 🙂