So yesterday I was meeting a few friends in a bar to watch some soccer. The whole day I was thinking about how good I’ve been feeling and those all too familiar thoughts started creeping in.
“Maybe I can start having a few drinks after a while.”
“My drinking never did anybody any harm.”
“Drinking is more fun than not drinking.”
“Maybe at big events.”
“Maybe this weekend you can have a few.”
“One or two tonight will do no harm.”
“I can moderate.”
“I’ve not been drinking for more than two weeks. Surely if I were an alcoholic I would not be able to just stop drinking.”
Oh dear. I need to nip this in the bud. I didn’t drink last night and it didn’t really bother me. It wasn’t a big night anyway, just a few drinks with friends, nobody was planning in getting drunk. But the idea of not drinking in the future bothers me. No release, no drunken chats in the bathroom, no ice cold glass of Sauvignon Blanc to sip on, no uninhibited dancing in nightclubs. No giddy excitement about the possibilities of the night.
I need to change my mindset. Remind myself that I’m not really missing out. I can have most of the things I listed above, apart from the wine. I just need to readjust I guess. I can still dance like a crazy person; I’ve been out sober before and had a great time dancing – I could lose my inhibitions too because everybody was too drunk to notice!
I read Jason Vale’s How to Kick Drink Easily around this time last year and ended up not drinking for over 3 months. I’m gonna read it again. I have to really believe that my life can be enjoyable without wine.